I'd like to start out by saying I am not a morning person. I've been a mom for eight years, eight years of a lack of sleep, of getting up early, of staying up late and trying to survive on 4-5 hours sleep, eight years of really never sleeping in. Eight years of motherhood, and I am still not a morning person. I hate going to sleep at night because it's my sanity time to myself, but I once I fall asleep I love sleep and do not want to get up. Up until this year it hasn't been so bad, last year I could sleep until 8 before I had to get up and take care of getting the kids ready for school. This year? I have to get up at 6:15, 6:15! They have to be out at the bus by 7:10 and it sucks. Every morning is a fight with the snooze button. That said, I think the only thing worse then having to get up at 6:15 is getting up late, or getting up on time and still ending up with a chaotic morning.
There's really nothing worse then getting up at 6:45 and realizing I have to feed the kids, pack lunches, get them dressed, brush hair, brush teeth, make sure their backpacks are put together right... all in about 30 minutes. It takes them 15 at least just to eat and the whole morning ends up feeling rushed. Not good for them or me! This morning we learned that even if we get up on time, our morning can still suck. This morning we get up, we get ready, we get out to the bus stop a few minutes early, and then we wait. Oh, and then we wait some more... about thirty minutes more. When the bus was ten minutes late I called the department of transportation to ask where it was, they said "Oh it's running about 7-8 minutes behind". So I hang up figuring okay, it's only been about ten minutes and they say it's on the way. Another ten minutes go by, nothing. Another ten minutes go by, nothing. Finally about thirtyish minutes after it should have been there, it pulls up. I, in a slightly annoyed tone, say hello to the bus driver (not their normal driver). The driver then informs me their bus stop was FORGOTTEN. Their normal bus driver was running 7-8 minutes late but I guess in the chaos of running late she ended up just skipping their stop. So at 7:45 the kids got a private bus ride to school. I'm so frustrated about it though!
While I'm on the topic of disorganized organizations... let me just give a little rant about Michael's soccer team/coach. This years soccer is Michael's first real experience with organized sports. He had his first practice two weeks ago, on a Friday. For some reason his coach asks the parents if the Friday practices work for them. ONE dad out of all the parents says no absolutely not, I need it to be on Wednesday no other day! So the coach says okay practice next week will be on Wednesday. Apparently he had no right to do this, and didn't feel like even letting the parents know there wouldn't be practice on Wednesday last week. Michael arrived at practice last Wednesday, along with 4-5 other kids on his team, to find no coach. No coach, the coaches neighbor who is also on the team was no there, and the dad that demanded Wednesday practices was not there. Discussions with the other coaches showed that he shouldn't have changed the practice time/day. So, I was furious, this is my sons first organized sports experience and my $70 they're screwing with after all! I made a few phone calls and couldn't connect with anyone but I left his coach an angry voice mail. Friday morning I received a phone call from the people who run the soccer league, they called to cancel a Friday practice I didn't even know existed and let me know that the schedules were being redone on Monday... it's Thursday, no one has bothered to let me know if Michael's practice has changed at all. So tomorrow at 5:30 Michael will be going to soccer practice, and if his coach is not there... I am going to go demand my money back remove Michael from this soccer program. They better not ruin this experience for him!
/End early morning rants
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Creative Creativeness
I'm naturally a very creatively driven person. If I go too long without writing, sketching (not very well I might add), taking some pictures and having fun with editing, or just SOMETHING I start to feel... I don't know I guess panicky I guess is the best way to put it. My stress levels go through the roof, I get testy and hard(er) to be around, and generally just feel as though the entire world might just collapse on top of me. It doesn't care if some of my creative adventures are ... mediocre at best (IE: anything I attempt to draw) I just enjoy doing it. It's the focusing on whatever I'm doing that helps, the knowledge that fantastic or not I'm creating something. I've been feeling like that a lot lately, so I went and downloaded a new trial of cs5 and have been playing with that.
My eyes are pretty creepertastic in that last picture, but it was fun making it haha. The one of Logan, after a long time of using photoshop I finally figured out how to blur the background nicely - yay me. Anyways, so that's what I spent yesterday doing. Now bear is awake and looking for breakfast so, I better go get that!
My eyes are pretty creepertastic in that last picture, but it was fun making it haha. The one of Logan, after a long time of using photoshop I finally figured out how to blur the background nicely - yay me. Anyways, so that's what I spent yesterday doing. Now bear is awake and looking for breakfast so, I better go get that!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I hate my hair and other ramblings
`1. I hate the frizzy, dull, mess that sits upon my head so much right now.
2. Alhanna is sick, she never gets sick and she's so emo when she is that it's incredibly sad!
3. Logan gave me a brilliant (or so I think) idea for a children's book today. Maybe I will see
what can come of this idea.
4. It's raining out, and instead of being able to go outside and take a few pictures like I'd like to be
doing, I'm stuck sitting inside waiting for Logan to sleep.
5. Sad but true: Roughly 60% of dogs in the Charlote County Humane Society shelter are at least
part pit. Sadder? I'd say most of them will probably not make it out of that shelter.
6. Today on the bus I listened in while two men discussed 9/11 conspiracy theories and how JFK
was murdered because he wanted to do away with paper based money and create a gold based
system. Sketchy drunk men have the best conversations.
7. Sometimes I wish I liked coffee, coffee based drinks at starbucks always look so tasty. I also wish
I liked wine more, because going on a wine tasting tour seems like it could be very fun and romantic.
8. I've come to realize that this state I love so much... actually really sucks. The people here are meh,
the state itself is meh, great to visit not great to live. I love being with my family but other then that, I
can't wait to go home.
9. A year away from someone is, in theory, not so long at all. In practice, it's an extremely long time.
10. I have to wonder if the definition of politician has always been "someone who cares more about
themself and their agenda then the people they work for (aka all of us)" or if that's something
relatively new.
11. I can't understand why a message of love and acceptance is so scary to so many people. Why
is the idea of living life in peace with one and other, accepting our differences whatever they may
be, considered idealistic and impossible? The gay dude living at the end of the street with the love of
his life isn't actually at all threatening to you, so why do you think it is? < one example in a sea of many.
12. Thinks there is something wrong in a country that can't, or wont, realize that an entire huge section of
their population is becoming extinct. As the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer, the middle class
begins to disappear. A rift this big is sure to end badly.
13. I want a new tattoo, it's been awhile and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I actually want a few
but I think I want my anklet first, with charms for my grandparents on it.
14. If I don't find something creative to do soon, to get out all this pent up.. whatever inside me... out I
think I might explode.
15. Dallas finally won a game tonight. Wewt.
2. Alhanna is sick, she never gets sick and she's so emo when she is that it's incredibly sad!
3. Logan gave me a brilliant (or so I think) idea for a children's book today. Maybe I will see
what can come of this idea.
4. It's raining out, and instead of being able to go outside and take a few pictures like I'd like to be
doing, I'm stuck sitting inside waiting for Logan to sleep.
5. Sad but true: Roughly 60% of dogs in the Charlote County Humane Society shelter are at least
part pit. Sadder? I'd say most of them will probably not make it out of that shelter.
6. Today on the bus I listened in while two men discussed 9/11 conspiracy theories and how JFK
was murdered because he wanted to do away with paper based money and create a gold based
system. Sketchy drunk men have the best conversations.
7. Sometimes I wish I liked coffee, coffee based drinks at starbucks always look so tasty. I also wish
I liked wine more, because going on a wine tasting tour seems like it could be very fun and romantic.
8. I've come to realize that this state I love so much... actually really sucks. The people here are meh,
the state itself is meh, great to visit not great to live. I love being with my family but other then that, I
can't wait to go home.
9. A year away from someone is, in theory, not so long at all. In practice, it's an extremely long time.
10. I have to wonder if the definition of politician has always been "someone who cares more about
themself and their agenda then the people they work for (aka all of us)" or if that's something
relatively new.
11. I can't understand why a message of love and acceptance is so scary to so many people. Why
is the idea of living life in peace with one and other, accepting our differences whatever they may
be, considered idealistic and impossible? The gay dude living at the end of the street with the love of
his life isn't actually at all threatening to you, so why do you think it is? < one example in a sea of many.
12. Thinks there is something wrong in a country that can't, or wont, realize that an entire huge section of
their population is becoming extinct. As the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer, the middle class
begins to disappear. A rift this big is sure to end badly.
13. I want a new tattoo, it's been awhile and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I actually want a few
but I think I want my anklet first, with charms for my grandparents on it.
14. If I don't find something creative to do soon, to get out all this pent up.. whatever inside me... out I
think I might explode.
15. Dallas finally won a game tonight. Wewt.
“When you are describing,
A shape, or sound, or tint;
Don’t state the matter plainly,
But put it in a hint;
And learn to look at all things,
With a sort of mental squint.”
–Lewis Carroll
Saturday, September 25, 2010
and they grow and grow
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Bucket List
After .. a lot of hours of work, I have created my bucket list. Sure to change over time or have things I'd like to add. I'd be thrilled to do even 1/2 of these things ever!
1. Write a meaningful song that touches people
2. Design the cover art for the album of some musical genius
3. Travel across the United States and Canada via a RV, seeing all the amazing sights to be seen
4. Travel all over Europe: Namely Greece, Ireland, Italy, England, and possibly France and Spain
5. Come up with a creative angle for my photography (as well as taking classes to enhance my skills) to turn my hobby into a career
6. Pictures tell a story that words alone can not - have at least one free lance photo journalist job under my hat
7. Positively change the world, even if it's just in some small way that makes a difference
8. Go to the International Film Festival in Toronto
9. See Linkin Park, Jack Johnson, Kate Voegele, Mariana's Trench, John Mayer, Third wheel Tuesday... and so many others in Concert.
10. Attend crazy awesome musical festivals showcasing different kinds of music all over the country
11. Publish a book of poetry
12. Publish a children's book
13. Own a car that is completely fuel free
14. Live in a green home (not.. green the color but earth friendly)
15. Go back to college, not for really any thing in particular.. I just love taking classes and learning things.
16. Own a professional level camera
17. Own an iPad, it's a ridic name but I love them anyways
18. Have an entire large room in my house I can turn into a library
19. Meet my best friend Emma, this is such a given it probably doesn't even need to be bucket listed but I'm doing it anyways because it's that important to me!
20. Go to Carnival at Rio De Janeiro
21. Learn to belly dance
22. Go scuba diving
23. Learn to rollerskate backwards
24. Learn to snowboard
25. Get over my fear of boats with an extended sailing trip
26. ... Learn to sail
27. Learn to not only speak, but also read and write Japanese
28. Become fluent in French
29. Reacquaint myself with the Saxophone
30. Learn at least two other instruments (Piano, drums, and or guitar?)
31. Turn my basement (in my future home) into a home theatre and stalk the floor to ceiling shelves with movies.
32. Learn to surf
33. Jump off a cliff into the water or alternatively, use a robe to swing off into the water .It always looks so fun on tv.
34. Ride a mechanical bull
35. See several musicals on broadway
36. Meet the Dalai Lama
37. Spend a year as a vegetarian
38. Be in Times Square on New Year's Eve
39. Visit the great wall of China
40. Swim with dolphins
41. Meet the few close friends I have met via the interwebs
42. Become a foster parent
43. Donate regularly to a charity providing to needy children aorund the world
44. Get a tattoo done by Kat
45. Go snorkeling in a shipwreck
46. Go swimming in the worlds largest swimming pool in Chile
47. Own a not for profit therapy horse farm
48. Go to Oktoberfest in Germany
49. Take pottery classes
50. Build a house with Habitat for Humanity
51. Join a Big Brother/Big Sister program
52. Spend a week at a 5 star spa in Sweden
53. Go whale watching
54. Watch turtles hatch and run for the ocean
55. Visit Tibet
56. Go to the opera
57. See the winter and summer olympics
58. Try fencing
59. Go rock climbing
60. Go parasailing
61. Find the money to help under privileged struggling people get back on their feet
62. Deliver art supplies to kids in schools in developing countries
63. Travel to and photograph all of the things on the: medieval world wonders, ancient world wonders, and modern world wonders lists. (and any other wonders list I deem interesting enough!)
64. Live in another country for a year
65. Spend a week in Montreal with Christopher, and see a hockey game
66. Get married where my grandparents can be in attendance (okay I said I wasn't going to include these things but I have to include this one!)
67. Move free and clear of any issues to Canada and live happily ever after
68. Own the coffee house of my dreams: coffee house in front, with a stage for poetry readings, musicians, and the likes and a small new age shop in the back
69. Learn the art of hairdressing (cutting, styling, it's an art form all it's own!)
70. Also learn the art of nail designing amazingness
80. Ride the train from Stockholm to Kiruna
90. Ride the Palace on Wheels through India
91. Take a ride on the Eastern and Oriental Express through Asia
92. Ride the Blue Train through South Africa
93. Go for a ride on the Staten Island Ferry
94. Visit the statue of liberty and many other monuments around the US
95. Tour through Chicago on the Trolley/Double Decker bus tour
96. Take Michael to see the World cup
97. Face my fear of heights in Vancouver at the Capilano Suspension Bridge
98. Visit Disney's Animal Kingdom
99. See the Angel Oak tree in SC and take pictures of the kids on it
100. Take Alhanna to the Ballet in NYC
What's on YOUR bucket list?
1. Write a meaningful song that touches people
2. Design the cover art for the album of some musical genius
3. Travel across the United States and Canada via a RV, seeing all the amazing sights to be seen
4. Travel all over Europe: Namely Greece, Ireland, Italy, England, and possibly France and Spain
5. Come up with a creative angle for my photography (as well as taking classes to enhance my skills) to turn my hobby into a career
6. Pictures tell a story that words alone can not - have at least one free lance photo journalist job under my hat
7. Positively change the world, even if it's just in some small way that makes a difference
8. Go to the International Film Festival in Toronto
9. See Linkin Park, Jack Johnson, Kate Voegele, Mariana's Trench, John Mayer, Third wheel Tuesday... and so many others in Concert.
10. Attend crazy awesome musical festivals showcasing different kinds of music all over the country
11. Publish a book of poetry
12. Publish a children's book
13. Own a car that is completely fuel free
14. Live in a green home (not.. green the color but earth friendly)
15. Go back to college, not for really any thing in particular.. I just love taking classes and learning things.
16. Own a professional level camera
17. Own an iPad, it's a ridic name but I love them anyways
18. Have an entire large room in my house I can turn into a library
19. Meet my best friend Emma, this is such a given it probably doesn't even need to be bucket listed but I'm doing it anyways because it's that important to me!
20. Go to Carnival at Rio De Janeiro
21. Learn to belly dance
22. Go scuba diving
23. Learn to rollerskate backwards
24. Learn to snowboard
25. Get over my fear of boats with an extended sailing trip
26. ... Learn to sail
27. Learn to not only speak, but also read and write Japanese
28. Become fluent in French
29. Reacquaint myself with the Saxophone
30. Learn at least two other instruments (Piano, drums, and or guitar?)
31. Turn my basement (in my future home) into a home theatre and stalk the floor to ceiling shelves with movies.
32. Learn to surf
33. Jump off a cliff into the water or alternatively, use a robe to swing off into the water .It always looks so fun on tv.
34. Ride a mechanical bull
35. See several musicals on broadway
36. Meet the Dalai Lama
37. Spend a year as a vegetarian
38. Be in Times Square on New Year's Eve
39. Visit the great wall of China
40. Swim with dolphins
41. Meet the few close friends I have met via the interwebs
42. Become a foster parent
43. Donate regularly to a charity providing to needy children aorund the world
44. Get a tattoo done by Kat
45. Go snorkeling in a shipwreck
46. Go swimming in the worlds largest swimming pool in Chile
47. Own a not for profit therapy horse farm
48. Go to Oktoberfest in Germany
49. Take pottery classes
50. Build a house with Habitat for Humanity
51. Join a Big Brother/Big Sister program
52. Spend a week at a 5 star spa in Sweden
53. Go whale watching
54. Watch turtles hatch and run for the ocean
55. Visit Tibet
56. Go to the opera
57. See the winter and summer olympics
58. Try fencing
59. Go rock climbing
60. Go parasailing
61. Find the money to help under privileged struggling people get back on their feet
62. Deliver art supplies to kids in schools in developing countries
63. Travel to and photograph all of the things on the: medieval world wonders, ancient world wonders, and modern world wonders lists. (and any other wonders list I deem interesting enough!)
64. Live in another country for a year
65. Spend a week in Montreal with Christopher, and see a hockey game
66. Get married where my grandparents can be in attendance (okay I said I wasn't going to include these things but I have to include this one!)
67. Move free and clear of any issues to Canada and live happily ever after
68. Own the coffee house of my dreams: coffee house in front, with a stage for poetry readings, musicians, and the likes and a small new age shop in the back
69. Learn the art of hairdressing (cutting, styling, it's an art form all it's own!)
70. Also learn the art of nail designing amazingness
80. Ride the train from Stockholm to Kiruna
90. Ride the Palace on Wheels through India
91. Take a ride on the Eastern and Oriental Express through Asia
92. Ride the Blue Train through South Africa
93. Go for a ride on the Staten Island Ferry
94. Visit the statue of liberty and many other monuments around the US
95. Tour through Chicago on the Trolley/Double Decker bus tour
96. Take Michael to see the World cup
97. Face my fear of heights in Vancouver at the Capilano Suspension Bridge
98. Visit Disney's Animal Kingdom
99. See the Angel Oak tree in SC and take pictures of the kids on it
100. Take Alhanna to the Ballet in NYC
What's on YOUR bucket list?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Little lies I tell myself
1.) I don't mind riding the bus. I tell myself this so often I almost think I believe it. It's better for the environment, one less car on the road, don't have to pay for gas, the stop isn't far away and promotes good health with walking to it! It goes on and on, but the truth is I hate riding the bus. I mean some days I don't mind, it's right there. However, I have lost the basic ability to just run to the store and come back. Every trip out takes at least an hour, and if I want to go more then one place I'm looking at at least two hours. It's just annoying. Not to mention, I haven't been able to take Michael to his soccer practices at all, someone else has had to take him. The bus doesn't happen to go down to the field late enough so I can't go. I have an appointment with Michael's teacher tomorrow morning at 10:10, the bus running there only goes by at 8:40 or 10:40... so I had to arrange a ride. I hate not having a car, and I hate having my life run by a bus schedule.
2.) I'm happy and doing great with being 120000 miles away from Chris. The truth? I'm terrible. It's hard, it's exhausting, it's like being a single mom all over again but without having to financially worry about them myself. From 6am until midnight I'm on go. I get up, I get the kids ready for school, I take them to the bus stop and come back to find Logan up and waiting for his breakfast and then I'm his all day. Get the kids at 3, do homework, make dinner, do bath time, read stories, get them to bed... finally get some me time around 9... it's just an exhausting day all day every day. I'm used to having my partner in crime, the person I share my life with, the person who supports me and loves me and knows pretty instinctively when I need him to take over... I'm used to having him right there with me. Not having him, is a lot harder then I let on. Sleeping alone in bed is hard. Not hugging him or kissing him is hard. The strain it puts on our relationship is hard. It's all just... hard. Worth it at the end? Yeah, it is. Easy to get through even knowing that? Not at all.
So, that's only two and I know there's more but right now I'm tired and I need to sleep. I'll think more and perhaps do a round2 of this topic. In the mean time...
What lies do YOU tell yourself?
2.) I'm happy and doing great with being 120000 miles away from Chris. The truth? I'm terrible. It's hard, it's exhausting, it's like being a single mom all over again but without having to financially worry about them myself. From 6am until midnight I'm on go. I get up, I get the kids ready for school, I take them to the bus stop and come back to find Logan up and waiting for his breakfast and then I'm his all day. Get the kids at 3, do homework, make dinner, do bath time, read stories, get them to bed... finally get some me time around 9... it's just an exhausting day all day every day. I'm used to having my partner in crime, the person I share my life with, the person who supports me and loves me and knows pretty instinctively when I need him to take over... I'm used to having him right there with me. Not having him, is a lot harder then I let on. Sleeping alone in bed is hard. Not hugging him or kissing him is hard. The strain it puts on our relationship is hard. It's all just... hard. Worth it at the end? Yeah, it is. Easy to get through even knowing that? Not at all.
So, that's only two and I know there's more but right now I'm tired and I need to sleep. I'll think more and perhaps do a round2 of this topic. In the mean time...
What lies do YOU tell yourself?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
It's my life
Hello blogger world!
This is my first blog around here, and I'll take a minute to introduce the players in the story I shall be sharing. The story, being about my life of course, takes place at the moment in Florida. Though that will change in the future. Some key players would be my children, Logan (3), Alhanna (5), and Michael (8). They are the subjects of many a story I feel the need to share! Then there is my fiance Christopher, his name will come up often I'm sure. Other names will come up but that's fine for now.
The current setting in my life is, as I mentioned, Florida. I am down here for one year taking care of some things. I'm staying with my dad while I'm down, the kids are attending school, and I'm getting some things straightened out. Being away from my fiance is hard, he is left up in Canada to work and continue providing for our life. We haven't seen him since the first week of August, we miss him an incredible amount. I'm sure I'll delve more into those things at some point, but that's a basic "it's my life" for now.
Writing is my outlet, writing, photography and music are my sanity. This blog is my outlet, especially for the next year of my life when I'll be in serious need of sanity. I have a lot of opinions, a lot of thoughts and feelings, and I'll be sure to grace anyone that decides to read my blog with them, but mostly I'll be writing for myself. Because I need it. So, there's my intro and I know it's full of holes, but hey.. this blog will fill them in over time I'm sure.
This is my first blog around here, and I'll take a minute to introduce the players in the story I shall be sharing. The story, being about my life of course, takes place at the moment in Florida. Though that will change in the future. Some key players would be my children, Logan (3), Alhanna (5), and Michael (8). They are the subjects of many a story I feel the need to share! Then there is my fiance Christopher, his name will come up often I'm sure. Other names will come up but that's fine for now.
The current setting in my life is, as I mentioned, Florida. I am down here for one year taking care of some things. I'm staying with my dad while I'm down, the kids are attending school, and I'm getting some things straightened out. Being away from my fiance is hard, he is left up in Canada to work and continue providing for our life. We haven't seen him since the first week of August, we miss him an incredible amount. I'm sure I'll delve more into those things at some point, but that's a basic "it's my life" for now.
Writing is my outlet, writing, photography and music are my sanity. This blog is my outlet, especially for the next year of my life when I'll be in serious need of sanity. I have a lot of opinions, a lot of thoughts and feelings, and I'll be sure to grace anyone that decides to read my blog with them, but mostly I'll be writing for myself. Because I need it. So, there's my intro and I know it's full of holes, but hey.. this blog will fill them in over time I'm sure.
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