1.) I don't mind riding the bus. I tell myself this so often I almost think I believe it. It's better for the environment, one less car on the road, don't have to pay for gas, the stop isn't far away and promotes good health with walking to it! It goes on and on, but the truth is I hate riding the bus. I mean some days I don't mind, it's right there. However, I have lost the basic ability to just run to the store and come back. Every trip out takes at least an hour, and if I want to go more then one place I'm looking at at least two hours. It's just annoying. Not to mention, I haven't been able to take Michael to his soccer practices at all, someone else has had to take him. The bus doesn't happen to go down to the field late enough so I can't go. I have an appointment with Michael's teacher tomorrow morning at 10:10, the bus running there only goes by at 8:40 or 10:40... so I had to arrange a ride. I hate not having a car, and I hate having my life run by a bus schedule.
2.) I'm happy and doing great with being 120000 miles away from Chris. The truth? I'm terrible. It's hard, it's exhausting, it's like being a single mom all over again but without having to financially worry about them myself. From 6am until midnight I'm on go. I get up, I get the kids ready for school, I take them to the bus stop and come back to find Logan up and waiting for his breakfast and then I'm his all day. Get the kids at 3, do homework, make dinner, do bath time, read stories, get them to bed... finally get some me time around 9... it's just an exhausting day all day every day. I'm used to having my partner in crime, the person I share my life with, the person who supports me and loves me and knows pretty instinctively when I need him to take over... I'm used to having him right there with me. Not having him, is a lot harder then I let on. Sleeping alone in bed is hard. Not hugging him or kissing him is hard. The strain it puts on our relationship is hard. It's all just... hard. Worth it at the end? Yeah, it is. Easy to get through even knowing that? Not at all.
So, that's only two and I know there's more but right now I'm tired and I need to sleep. I'll think more and perhaps do a round2 of this topic. In the mean time...
What lies do YOU tell yourself?
girl, you do a fantastic job and im always saying how wonderful of a mom you are.. yea its hard, but you have done this before and you got through it and it was better in the end.. im very proud of you and im happy you have all these things to do every day instead of spending so much time on nexus.. you are a great mom and you will continue to be, with or without a partner.. just keep thinking 'this is only temporary'.. then your family will be all back together again.. xoxoxo
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