Saturday, June 30, 2012

The self control monster under the bed.





    So, I know usually there's about four months minimum between my blogging, however I am going to try and make a change to that. Inspired by my bff I want to try and find the time to write every day. Writing has always been my outlet, my sanity, my shoulder to cry on or pillow to scream into. It has been my ever enduring, never turns its back on me, waits around for me when I disappear for four months at a time, type of friend. That said, I'm sure it won't always be interesting posts to anyone other than myself. It won't always be deep, thought provoking, be a better person posts. Some days, like today, it will just be getting out some things inside my head... because things inside your head need somewhere to live too, and my head is getting crowded!


    Now, onto the things in my head! First of all, as most anyone that actually reads this knows, I have been on a roller coaster ride that I like to call "getting healthier" for about a year now. I've sort of hit a plateau in the last few months. That has a lot to do with some things that were going on that I won't get into. Now that it's over though, I want to get back on the wagon. Not just back on the wagon, but  charge the wagon full speed ahead. I have found some work out videos I'm going to dedicate myself to, I'm going to start using the bike I have access to, mix in some swimming for fun and some yoga for sanity. Most importantly though I'm going to work on my self control. I like food. I like food that tastes so good you know it must be bad for you. That's not my real problem though, my real problem is the inability to tell myself no. This will be the first demon I tackle, telling myself no. I started today and I think I had a great first day. I went to the movies this morning with a friend and instead of indulging in movie snacks, I brought healthier snacks with me. I had a spinach salad with homemade salsa on it for lunch, and will pack myself a healthy dinner to remove the temptation of eating fast food junk while at work. Self control has always been the monster under my bed, whether it be food or something else. I have lived with the "you can't have too much of a good (or sinfully good) thing" mentality for too long, but I have faith in my ability to break these bad habits.


     The second thing on my head lately is commmpppllletteeeellly unrelated, yes completely did need to be dragged out like that okay. So I work in retail. In my job I see a lot of different people, happy families, unhappy families, miserable couples, adorable little old people still holding hands, etc etc. People watching has always been something I loved, seeing how people interact with each other, or what they do when they think no one is watching.. it's fascinating to me. I think you can learn a lot from watching people, this weeks learned lesson? Children are placed in our lives as much to teach us life lessons, as we are placed in their life to teach them life lessons. I've watched as mothers try and quiet their laughing children, children who are so clearly just enjoying the hell out of life. For some reason loud, rambunctious, fun having children are seen as "not proper" for public places. While I guess this is true if you're in a stiffy art museum or  packed movie theater, it's not really as true as people seem to think it is.. everywhere else. I think that the biggest lesson that we have to learn from the our children is to stop being so serious all the time and embrace our inner child. We (the universal we of society) force our children to grow up fast, we tell them to stop acting like children, we crush their imagination, chase away their invisible friends, and turn those smiles upside down. Creating a small army of serious, greedy, out for themselves, don't stop and help someone in need, people for the next generation. But.. why? Next time your child is trying to paint you a picture with words, jump into the story with them, fight the dragons along side their invisible friends, pick lolipop flowers in a rainbow field, fly high above the sky with wings you sprouted out of no where. Laugh. Listen to that ever contagious sound of a childs laughter, and instead of shushing it join in. Remember what it's like to look through the naive, innocent, life inexperienced eyes of your own childhood. Remember what it felt like not to understand why anyone would care if two men held hands, worshiped a different god, or spoke a different language. Remember what it felt like to strive only for 5 more minutes of running around outside, instead of making that next dollar. Remember what it felt like to love, just because you hadn't been taught anything else yet. Watch our little people, the reminders of the innocence we all once had... and learn from it. 


  I think that's all my head has right now, oh also Game of Thrones is a great book series. I highly recommend it, even if it did make me so mad last night I almost quit reading it. Maybe I get too invested in characters in a story? Either way, read it. Don't cheat and watch the show! 


 Now that's it for my head, and this blog! 


Todays lunch:







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